Sexual pleasure is your birthright.
I help women reclaim their sexuality and release the shame holding them back.
Hi, I’m Valerie - a somatic sex and relationship coach and founder of Shameless Connections..
I help women in their 20-40s learn how to discover and understand their desires, take ownership of their pleasure, and access their sexuality in a way no one has taught us before - as a source of inner power, true untamed life force, and deep confidence.
Here's the truth: women have been told for centuries that our sexual pleasure is dirty, not valid, not needed, or even doesn’t exist altogether. This has led to almost everyone who grew up socialized as a girl feeling shameful, disconnected, and distant from their sexuality.
These messages make us feel deathly afraid of expressing our sexuality the way that men get to do. They lead to us shoving our desires into a deep, dark closet, pretending they are not even there. They lead us to believe that our bodies don’t belong to us, that we don’t have a right to feel pleasure and to advocate for that pleasure.
Unlearning these deep messages that penetrate into every area of our lives is difficult but not impossible, in fact, it is absolutely essential. Because when you learn to understand your sexuality as a woman, to accept it deeply, when you learn to advocate for your pleasure without compromise - you learn to be truly alive.
You're in the right place if...
You’re done feeling disempowered in your sexuality and relationships
Throughout your life you've heard that women who enjoy sex are "sluts," that they will never find a partner who will love and accept them, that they are not "good" girls. This has led you to feel shame about your sexuality, your desires, and your pleasure. By reclaiming your sexuality and pleasure, you will not only transform your own life - you will challenge the systems that shame women’s sexuality and pave the way for others to be free.
You’re ready to discover your authentic sexual desires but don’t know how
You KNOW there's more to your sexuality than what you've experienced so far. But you don't know what it is, where it lives, or how to grasp it. Your partners might have pleasured you sometimes, but you don't want to rely on other people anymore—you want to know exactly what you want, like, and how to get it.
You want to learn to confidently talk to your partners about sex and desires
You feel vulnerable and scared to bring it up, even with partners you trust deeply. You often rely on your partners to bring it up for you and to lead you. You secretly expect them to just KNOW what you need because expressing it seems far too risky. Instead, you want to feel the confidence to advocate for your pleasure, teach your partners to give you what you want, and feel empowered about it.
Why I Do This Work
Telling people that I'm a sex coach inevitably creates a strong reaction - sometimes positive, sometimes just curious, sometimes negative. Why is it so controversial? Because our society believes women should not be openly sexual or in control of their own sexuality. I do this work to change that - one personal transformation at a time.
I was always fascinated by sex and relationships. As a teen, I couldn't stop learning about sexuality, connection, and intimacy - to me, those things always felt fun, exciting, and inviting. But I also learned through my exploration that I, as a girl, was instead supposed to feel shameful and guarded around my sexuality. I wasn't supposed to show it, be interested in it, explore it, or even think about it too much. The world told me and every other girl that sex is for men - only they are allowed to think about it, pursue it, and get pleasure from it.
The result of these messages? Women, and everyone else who was assigned female at birth, end up having a lifelong struggle with accepting, loving, and prioritizing an absolutely core part of themselves - their sexuality. There are many reasons why I decided to do this work, but helping women reclaim their sexuality and learn to unapologetically own it is the one I feel most passionate about.
My training as a Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach gives me the perfect tools for this exact work. I create a safe container where women can finally relax, let go of the deep sexual shame instilled in them from birth, and learn to explore their true desires in a somatic, embodied way. I help my clients not only understand their sexuality and desires, but communicate them to partners and show up confidently in the world as their unique, beautifully sexual selves.
My clients don't just go through a deep personal transformation - they become models of what a truly sexually disinhibited woman can be: confident, powerful, and free. They become the change in our society, moving us toward finally freeing women from sexual shame and letting them be themselves.
I want to live in a world where every woman, girl, and female-identifying person feels the freedom to express their sexuality, deeply accept the sexual part of themselves, and unapologetically pursue pleasure. The big societal changes we want to see often start with ourselves. Ready to begin?
My Approach
What does working with a somatic sex and relationship coach look like?
You might be familiar with traditional therapy methods and are wondering how sex coaching is different. The truth is, therapists don’t receive much training on sexuality work, and many won’t delve deep into sexual topics with clients. As a sex coach, helping you explore, understand, and reclaim your sexuality is my primary focus - and I'm never afraid to go as deep as you need. Somatic sex coaching is not just about talking about your problems and rationalizing solutions. You learn by practicing, by doing, by learning to feel and trust your body.
My work is specifically designed to help women reclaim their sexuality and release the shame that's been holding them back. Here's how we do it:
We'll work through shame
Shame is one of the most powerful drivers of our behavior. It shapes us in ways we can't even fully grasp. Sexuality, in particular, is a source of deep, profound shame for most people - especially women. It acts as a brick wall between you and your sexual freedom and pleasure. Our work together will center on moving through this shame, understanding it, learning to release it - lots of it.
We'll reconnect you with your body
How many of us walk around every single day having absolutely no idea what our body is telling us, living in our heads and never leaving? Nearly everyone. Our bodies are smarter than we realize. Your sexuality lives in your body - not in your head. When you learn to listen to your body, you gain an understanding of your sexuality beyond what any amount of talking about it can give you. Through somatic exercises, breathwork, and body awareness practices, I'll help you learn how to feel safe in your body, become more attuned to it, and trust its innate wisdom.
Then we'll practice expression
Once you feel safe in your body and start to understand what it's telling you, we'll practice expressing your feelings and desires. If you're working on relationship communication, we'll practice difficult conversations. If you're exploring sexual expression with partners, we'll practice talking about desires. If you're building dating confidence, we'll practice authentic presence. Our sessions are a safe space to try new ways of communicating before you take them into your real life.
You'll build embodied confidence
Real confidence comes from being fully present in your body, knowing what you feel, and trusting yourself to express it. This is the kind of confidence that actually creates genuine connection - in relationships, in dating, in intimacy, everywhere. This is how you move from shame and disconnection to embodied sexual confidence - the kind that radiates into every area of your life and shows other women what's possible when we take our sexuality back.
The Process
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Free Consultation
We talk about where you are and what's possible. No pressure.
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60-minute virtual sessions
Tailored to your journey, at your pace. Every session builds on the last.
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Real-world practice
You'll get tools and exercises to use between sessions. This transformation continues beyond our sessions.
Ready to try it?
If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic sexuality - book a free consultation call with me to learn more.
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Sex therapy traditionally focuses on diagnosing and treating sexual dysfunctions or trauma through a mental health lens - people rarely go to a sex therapist with the perspective of exploration and sexual empowerment. Sex and relationship coaching is there to bridge that gap.
You don't have to have sexual dysfunction to benefit greatly from working with a sex coach. Instead of using traditional talk therapy tools, we actually practice the skills our clients are learning in real time with them. Coaching allows for a more personal connection between the coach and client, leaving space for more support, care, and intimacy.
Sex coaching is not a replacement for therapy or medical treatment. It's simply an additional tool that offers a different approach. Many coaching clients go to therapy concurrently with coaching, or have completed years of therapy before - it's totally okay to explore and try different options!
If you're dealing with significant trauma, mental health crises, or clinical diagnoses, therapy should be your primary support. I'm always happy to provide referrals to trusted therapists.
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No and no. You are always fully clothed during our sessions, and so am I. Since we meet virtually, there is no physical touch between us. Everything we do together - even purely verbal practices - will only happen with your explicit consent. Your comfort and boundaries are always the priority.
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Absolutely not. This work is for anyone who was socialized as female and carries the conditioning and shame that comes with it - whether you identify as a woman, non-binary, transmasculine, or a trans man. I welcome people of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and bodies. We've all been affected by society's repression of female sexuality, and we all deserve to break free from it.
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This really depends on your goals and what you're working on. Everybody's pace is different - some people get the breakthrough they need within 3-6 sessions, while others prefer ongoing support over several months to go really deep.
Either way, we'll check in regularly during our work together about how things are feeling and whether you want to continue. There's no particular commitment required - you're in control of your journey.
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Absolutely. Many of my clients aren't currently sexually active or in relationships - and that's completely okay.
This work is about connecting with yourself and learning all about your sexual self. The foundation of embodiment, communication skills, and understanding your sexual desires is universal and equally valuable whether you want to explore with partners or on your own.
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Yes, completely. Everything we discuss stays between us. Confidentiality is a foundational part of this work, and creating a safe, judgment-free space is always my priority.
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The coaching relationship is deeply personal, especially when working with sexuality and shame. We're likely a good fit if:
You feel drawn to my approach and mission
You're ready to try embodied work, not just talk about your challenges
You want a coach who's safe, warm, and unafraid to go deep into sexual topics with you
That said, the best way to know is to try. Book a free consultation call and we'll explore whether we're a good match. You'll get a feel for my energy and approach, and I'll learn about your goals and needs. Trust your instincts during our call. If it feels right, it probably is.